Prologue
Purposed is the man able to walk the path of loneliness. Focused is his mind, but focused is his heart. He seeks shelter in fire. Finding comfort from the burns. Foxes have dens, birds have nests, but the solitary man has no place to even lay his head.
When does he rest? Can he feel satisfaction, with breath still in his lungs? May he never be glorified. But exemplified. Acknowledged only through reverence. Complacency is arrogant. So he suffers.
Deceived by luxury, this world has been lulled into a great slumber. Searching for an oasis when it’s only a mirage. Struggling for a crown that rusts. Someone had to stay awake through the night to ensure there’s peace in the morning.
–
As though he was the messiah, Charles Zed, owner of Zedtech, offered the poverty-stricken world a solution to the existential food crisis. Rather than devoting resources to afford people nourishment, he devoted resources to develop a method to not need it at all. His technology enabled man to leave behind the physical world and move into the world of consciousness. Plainly, we would be kept asleep, but conscious in the deepest states of our own minds. A lucid dream if you will.
This convoluted immersion into the realm of consciousness has been troublesome but enlightening. For one 24-hour cycle, a halo crowns my head (a reciprocal relationship ring as Zedtech calls it), and I blissfully frolic amongst an atmosphere that has partnered with the stars. Only, they weren’t stars. They just danced like stars. Smiled like stars. But they were actually my very own thoughts, and my very own emotions. Well, the positive ones at least.
However, it would be fallacious to claim these thoughts as my own. Because journeying through the realm, I became familiar with the true source all of righteous thoughts and virtues. Peace, Joy, Creativity, you name it. All of them there, each one revealing themselves to me in human form, and willing to make my acquaintance.
For the other 24-hour cycle, chains shackle my ankles, wrists, neck, and tongue as I’m held helplessly on my knees before my masters. Desire, Addiction, Pride and more stood above me on a steep, wicked mountain shrouded by the eerie red sky in which red lightning struck. Incessantly, they rained down fiery arrows, which were also “my” thoughts, as these scumbags were the sources of all demonic thoughts and virtues. As opposed to the Halo 24, there was no offer of friendship, but rather a demand of my worship. Not that much different from the physical world.
While seemingly a torturous simulation, this 48-hour cycle between my reciprocal relationships and my enslaving ones, isn’t some made up game. The deal was we get immersed into our own minds. Freeing us from the destitution of the real world, but in exchange for the ownership of its contents. They just simply chose to separate what was already inside, revealing our doublemindedness. It’s true, where there’s Heaven, there must be Hell. But this realm has shown me that you don’t have to live in both. So I made a vow to myself, that when I escaped from here, I wouldn’t.
–
“AAAHHHHH!!” I screamed. “AAAUUUUURRRRGGGHHHHHH!!”
There were many layers to this scream. It started in the hopes that it would awake my physical body. Futile. But then it evolved. It made its way to Frustration station. Then departing from that, it took a turn to raging Confidence, deep down knowing that I would succeed. However, the roots of this Confidence were shallow, so it wilted quickly, landing it at the scream’s final destination, the worst of all, Doubt.
What torture it is for a man to have high Hopes with low Faith. He is a wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. That person must not suppose that he’ll receive anything, but he longs for everything. A double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
I screamed more. And more. Until my voice went hoarse. But thankfully, this was exactly what I needed, silence. Because this silence only needed a moment for it to whisper to me the extent of the situation. There was literally just one option. Suck it up. Get some Faith. And get the heck out of here.
–
Zedtech, the proud owners of my mind knew that nothing profitable comes from a place of contentment, so they gave us 24-hours of Hopeless Hell. What they forgot was that nothing revolutionary does either, so it was only fitting that I would discover my escape plan during this time.
“You have so much Hope in your heart.” Doubt scoffed at me. Then he kneeled down and spat on me. “And that’s all that it’ll ever be. HAHAHA!”
Worshipping Doubt was painful, as the chain was wrapped around my heart. But its location told me something essential to my escape. And essential to my prosperity as well.
Every time I tried to resist him, reinvigorating the Belief in mind, the chain got looser. But after receiving an onslaught of his fiery arrows, I’d lose control and the chain would constrict tighter. I learned that the heart is only what the mind tells it to be, and we are only what the heart tells us to be. My struggle had rewarded me Insight: I was in the realm consciousness, yes, but I wasn’t in my mind at all, I was in my heart. And from this, I knew how to break free.
–
Though, how foolish I was to think that it would be easy. I pictured myself as a confident person. Arrogant even. But when faced with fire, who knew how flammable the heart is.
Now back in the Halo 24, I anchored myself to religiously training my mind. I now knew that my thoughts in this realm were shaping the stature of my physical heart. And my physical heart would determine my fate. So I couldn’t afford to doubt. For it only takes a small amount of yeast to permeate an entire batch of dough.
Through the agonizing torment I tried, and I tried. But the simplest thought of reality, or logic, was like toppling over the Jenga tower. Logic was juxtaposed to my goal. The tornado to this tower. As it built, I bravely stood atop that tower of Confidence and Hope, and the higher it got meant the harder the fall. Uncertainty was now dangerous for my health.
–
If my Faith hadn’t already been sabotaged by my own tongue, it certainly was by Doubt when I was back in that realm. I spent all my time in the Halo 24 armoring my dream against my own unbelief just for it to be stripped naked and stabbed in the Chained 24. Nothing was possible without Consistency. For it’s the last refuge to the battered dreamer.
Over and over, I found myself on my knees pummeling the flimsy ground that barely supported the weight of my despair. Weeping in defeat, I tore my clothes and screamed, cursing the day I was born.
“WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?! I CAN’T TAKE THIS!”
Living now felt pointless. Because even living is an act of Faith. Faith in which I was now terrified to have. Scorned one too many times. Pain has plagued the world since the beginning. But there is no greater ailment than hopelessness.
Although I lived in solitude, I never felt alone, as I was always accompanied by this Hope. He was all that I had, but he too was now gone. Woe to the wolf that hunts alone. For those who can’t find food will be fed by their home.
–
“Doomed is the lofty dream that you alone protect.”
“Who’s there?!” I shouted.
“A supporter. A friend.” The brilliance began to materialize in front of me. “Belief.”
Certainty was painted onto his face. There was just a knowing. His skin glowed gold, his features were cat-like, and his voice was like the strumming of a cello. I had never seen someone look so fierce yet so gentle. My halo began to brighten and jump for joy. Like a dog welcoming home its owner.
“Your efforts are admirable, but your hope is misplaced. A dream is a seed needing fertile soil to grow; and your heart is filled with thistles, thorns, and birds that eat what you sow.”
–
No man is righteous. No man is good. No man is truly wise. Not even one. Belief, from whom every gift is received, taught me that. The most a man can do is believe in the harvest he’ll reap, and acknowledge that it’s undeserved.
What I sought was impossible, but necessary to please those who could bestow it onto me: An undivided heart. Having no ability to hesitate. For it only knows of one possibility. Childlike in its nature. Constantly joyful. A heart of this quality was what I needed to escape, but no man is capable of attaining it on his own. What I truly needed, was my acquaintance with Belief.
When I was tried with fire, he made sure I was purified, and did not melt. When I was tried with Pride, he gave me Humility, before I gave it to myself. Done were the days of the 48-hour cycle. Done was the worship of my heroes and my rivals.
–
“Thank you. From the bottom of this new heart that you’ve given me. Thank you. I could never repay you.” I said to Belief, bowing low before him.
“Indeed, you could not. You only can act as though what you’ve received is not your own. Therefore, it’s not yours to withhold. By your works, lead others to seek me. So they too can know the extent of my power. Now go. Awaken yourself.”
With a confident smile he vanished, and again, I was alone. Yet, I felt like I stood amongst an army. I felt in my heart the presence of Belief, and Hope, and Peace, and Joy, and I knew they weren’t going anywhere.
With one last inhale I gave thanks to this realm and all that it taught me, and with authority I commanded my heart, “Wake up.” And there I was, back in the physical world. But there was no time for celebration. I didn’t belong here, and they would soon know that I had escaped.